I went to the grocery store the other day, by myself. This may not seem like such a big deal for most people but for me it was an experience I had all but forgotten. As you know, I usually have my four year old in tow as I run most of my errands. But a few days ago, she slept in and my hubs was working from home so I decided to make a quick run to the grocery store… alone.
You wouldn’t think having a miniature human with you would make such a huge difference but WOW. I walked into the store and stopped at the coffee shop inside to grab a cup of joe, steaming hot and delicious. I usually have to skip it for two reasons; 1. I am usually driving the gigantic green monster cart with a small car on front for my daughter that will not fit in the coffee area and 2. I usually have a bouncy four year old with me, one who likes to exit said car on a regular basis making hot beverages a burn hazard to me, my groceries and anyone within a five feet radius. Since I don’t like having a stock boy following me through the store with a mop I usually skip it, but not this day.
Armed with a steaming cup of deliciousness I casually strolled through the store, stopping to smell the flowers in the floral department and chatting with the lady in the bakery. I perused fresh produce and patiently waited in line at the deli with a smile. As I walked down the aisles (with my normal sized cart) I didn’t have to worry about crashing into displays or finding random things in my cart after my back was turned. Did you know that they play music in the grocery store? I was unaware, maybe because the soundtrack to my trips are more like this…
No, we are not buying cookies. That is called a lobster, no it is not a big bug. Because bananas are healthy that’s why. Yes carrots are healthy too. I don’t know if wine is healthy, but mommy is buying some anyway. No you can’t help me with the wine. No cookies are not healthy… NO WE ARE NOT BUYING COOKIES!!! Usually by the end of the trip I feel a little like a maniac, although the smiles I get from other women in the store lets me know that I am not alone in my motherly craziness.
In contrast, on this trip to it was blissfully quiet. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter and I enjoy spending time with her. I had just forgotten how much more efficient I can be with out her “help”. I managed to make it to the checkout with everything I needed and remarkably nothing extra… a rare occurrence indeed. As I walked to my car I chuckled to myself, it really is the small things in life that make me happy I guess. I mean I left the grocery store as energized as if I had just been to the spa. I was feeling motivated and self confident, life was good. Then, as I opened the hatch to my Jeep, a big fat spider dropped down from the window and onto my hand.
In an act of sheer panic I screamed and tried to fling the spider off of my hand, but managed to fling it onto my shirt. What ensued can only be described as a screaming, flailing truffle shuffle in the parking lot. My cart took off down the parking lot and I ran after it shaking my hair and flailing my arms along the way. It was not my most graceful moment.
And here is the rub, even though I am deathly afraid of spiders (as my parking lot performance indicates) when my daughter is around I keep my panic in check so she is not as scared of spiders as I am. I usually keep the screaming confined inside my head. So… the relaxing spa experience of the grocery store sans child, gone. That feeling was replaced by a more mortified, I can never come back to this store, type of emotion. As I loaded my car I tried to not make eye contact with anyone in the parking lot while keeping an eye out for any more kamikaze spiders. I looked like I had a tic.
I have a feeling that I won’t be going to the store by myself anytime soon. At least when my daughter is with me and I act like a nut-bag people look at me and understand, oh she’s a mom… we have all had those moments. Without her I am just a crazy lady freaking out in the parking lot, and nobody wants to be THAT lady.
a life just ordinary 