a life just ordinary


Why Didn’t I Think Of That?
April 4, 2012, 12:09 pm
Filed under: Parenting | Tags: , ,

It happens to me all  of the time. That “Oh Duh” moment when I see a product that is destined to make my life so much easier; a product that I totally should have thought of myself.  I am not talking about huge technological leaps that better mankind for decades to come. I don’t have any allusions that I could have invented the I-pad or put together Facebook. I know as much about computer programing that my grandma does, and since she doesn’t even own a computer that is saying a lot.

I know the odds of me being the next Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg are about the same as me winning the next multimillion Powerball drawing (with the same monetary rewards I would imagine) and I am okay with it.  What makes me crazy though, are those products that I run across out in the world that I totally could have come up with… and didn’t. The products that I am sure have made their inventors a small fortune despite their simplicity.  Most of them seem to be products for my kiddos, and area in which  I seem to drop a lot of cash.  (I am a sucker, what can I say.)

The first one that comes to mind is the “Little Taggies” blankets. My daughter is what you would call a tag aficionado. She samples tags the way a sommelier samples a fine wine, and like a sommelier has an unique nose for determining only the best tags. We have carried around blankets, dolls and even washcloths based on their special tags; a blend of softness, silkiness and thickness  all adding to the delicate balance that makes the PERFECT tag. So when I discovered the “Little Taggies” blankets I had to ask myself, why didn’t I think of that?!

Oh the tag heaven...

After having Jack, I have been introduced to a whole new world of creative and yet simple products. I must admit that when I saw “Sock Ons” for the first time I was a little peeved. They are just little pieces of stretchy fabric that fit over a baby’s foot and prevent those little baby socks from falling off. Until I saw these I was convinced that baby feet and baby socks had magnetic properties, but with different polarities destined to repel each other for eternity. (I am the daughter of a science teacher, nerdy science references are par for the course.)

Inevitably the socks always fall off in the middle of the grocery store or the parking lot of the mall, and only noticed twenty minutes after they are gone and never to be found again.  My friend, Liz, gave me a couple of pairs of “Sock Ons” when I had the baby and we haven’t lost a sock yet. Well, we haven’t lost a sock in public… I am convinced the dryer has eaten a pair or two. I chalk it up to the price you must pay to the dryer gods to keep everything in working order, similar to the sacrifices of my Aztec ancestors but far less gory and gross. I imagine that my sacrifice of a sock or two prevents the dryer gods from shrinking my jeans or stretching my sweaters; totally worth it.

So simple, so perfect and so not my idea.

Finally, my pediatrician introduced me to “Wubbanubs” a brilliantly cute way to help keep a pacifier in your little baby’s mouth. It is a small stuffed animal with a pacifier attached to the end. Basically it can rest on baby’s chest or next to him in the car seat and it provides just enough support to keep the pacifier in when the baby starts to drift off, but not so much that the baby can choke. Not to mention that they are SUPER cute, I can picture this becoming Jack’s lovey as he gets a little bigger. And the technical know-how required to invent this miracle product? A pacifier, a small stuffed animal and a glue gun. No engineer required.

Seriously?! It is so cute it almost makes me want to take up a pacifier...
Although mine will be dipped in bourbon.

So now I have a new retirement plan. For the next month or two I am going to walk around the house armed with a glue gun and some creativity. My house has no shortage of little irksome problems just waiting for someone with the next big idea to miraculously come up with a wonder product to fix it. There is a whole “As Seen on TV” market dedicated to these BRILLIANT ideas, although I think every idea looks a little more brilliant at three in the morning. Lets face it the target viewership is people who are up with a crying baby who won’t sleep (trust me we are not in our right minds in this scenario) or people who are up due to some liquid encouragement. (I have also been the person up at this hour, after a couple of bottles of wine and a party pizza you really want a knife that can cut through a tomato AND a tin can.)

Now I just need to find a problem and solve it in a brilliantly simple manner. Maybe I can invent an alarm for hidden sippy cups that still have milk in them. Trust me, you want to find those in a timely manner. Or maybe it will be the automatic toilet paper changer, since I seem to be the only person in the house properly trained to perform this duty. I would tackle the whole missing sock in the laundry conundrum, but I don’t want to anger the dryer gods. There are some things that aren’t the risk.

 

 

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The Crazy Lady in the Parking Lot
July 21, 2011, 9:26 am
Filed under: Parenting | Tags: , ,

I went to the grocery store the other day, by myself. This may not seem like such a big deal for most people but for me it was an experience I had all but forgotten. As you know, I usually have my four year old in tow as I run most of my errands. But a few days ago, she slept in and my hubs was working from home so I decided to make a quick run to the grocery store… alone.

You wouldn’t think having a miniature human with you would make such a huge difference but WOW. I  walked into the store and stopped at the coffee shop inside to grab a cup of joe, steaming hot and delicious. I usually have to skip it for two reasons; 1. I am usually driving the gigantic green monster cart with a small car on front for my daughter that will not fit in the coffee area and 2. I usually have a bouncy four year old with me, one who likes to exit said car on a regular basis making hot beverages a burn hazard to me, my groceries and anyone within a five feet radius. Since I don’t like having a stock boy following me through the store with a mop I usually skip it, but not this day.

Armed with a steaming cup of deliciousness I casually strolled through the store, stopping to smell the flowers in the floral department and chatting with the lady in the bakery. I perused fresh produce and patiently waited in line at the deli with a smile. As I walked down the aisles (with my normal sized cart) I didn’t have to worry about crashing into displays or finding random things in my cart after my back was turned. Did you know that they play music in the grocery store? I was unaware, maybe because the soundtrack to my trips are more like this…

No, we are not buying cookies. That is called a lobster, no it is not a big bug. Because bananas are healthy that’s why. Yes carrots are healthy too. I don’t know if wine is healthy, but mommy is buying some anyway. No you can’t help me with the wine. No cookies are not healthy… NO WE ARE NOT BUYING COOKIES!!! Usually by the end of the trip I feel a little like a maniac, although the smiles I get from other women in the store lets me know that I am not alone in my motherly craziness.

In contrast, on this trip to it was blissfully quiet. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter and I enjoy spending time with her. I had just forgotten how much more efficient I can be with out her “help”. I managed to make it to the checkout with everything I needed and remarkably nothing extra… a rare occurrence indeed. As I walked to my car I chuckled to myself, it really is the small things in life that make me happy I guess. I mean I left the grocery store as energized as if I had just been to the spa. I was feeling motivated and self confident, life was good. Then, as I opened the hatch to my Jeep, a big fat spider dropped down from the window and onto my hand.

In an act of sheer panic I screamed and tried to fling the spider off of my hand, but managed to fling it onto my shirt. What ensued can only be described as a screaming, flailing truffle shuffle in the parking lot. My cart took off down the parking lot and I ran after it shaking my hair and flailing my arms along the way. It was not my most graceful moment.

And here is the rub, even though I am deathly afraid of spiders (as my parking lot performance indicates) when my daughter is around I keep my panic in check so she is not as scared of spiders as I am. I usually keep the screaming confined inside my head. So… the relaxing spa experience of the grocery store sans child, gone. That feeling was replaced by a more mortified, I can never come back to this store, type of emotion. As I loaded my car I tried to not make eye contact with anyone in the parking lot while keeping an eye out for any more kamikaze spiders. I looked like I had a tic.

I have a feeling that I won’t be going to the store by myself anytime soon. At least when my daughter is with me and I act like a nut-bag people look at me and understand, oh she’s a mom… we have all had those moments. Without her I am just a crazy lady freaking out in the parking lot, and nobody wants to be THAT lady.

 

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