My face upon learning that cookie butter does not have the same amount of protein as peanut butter.
So, when life hands you lemons… amiright? I have decided that since I have only this body that I should try to take better care of it. I started watching what I eat, trying to be more active, and in general, trying to treat my body like a temple rather than a carnival. I would like to say that this is an epiphany I discovered out of a spiritual desire to be healthier. In reality, if I have to go through cancer and multiple surgeries my light at the end of the tunnel is that I want to look smoking hot when it is all said and done. So I have started operation #hotmombod (super deep, I know.) This means using an app called MyFitness Pal to help track everything I am doing.
Working Out Is Hard To Do
It has been eyeopening to say the least. One thing that comes to mind is that I don’t move around nearly as much as I thought I did. Also, it is apparently ill advised to have an appetizer doughnut before your main course doughnut. Chinese knock-offs of fit-bits are both awesome and terrible. Awesome, because the model that I bought seems to want to inflate my steps like an overzealous bestie… Let’s face it fat-bot, you and I both know that I didn’t walk 250 steps from my couch to the bathroom but I like that you are trying to make me feel better. Terrible when, after a couple of weeks, your fat-bot starts to malfunction… (or I have mastered the art of time travel) I know that fat-bot did not record my activities in 2008 nor is it 2020, so I think it may be dying. I think I can burn at least a few calories taking a hammer to the stupid thing. It can only be classified as a mercy killing at this point.
I am trying to be more mindful of my activities now, which is a good thing. And MyFitness Pal has quite an array of activities to choose from. I was super bummed to know that my favorite yoga move, the corpse pose, doesn’t burn as many calories as I had hoped. By apparently laundry burns a decent amount, and my family is ALWAYS willing to contribute to that activity, so there’s that. I do feel that MyFitness Pal is missing some of my favorite exercising activities however, and I am genuinely curious as to how many calories these burn.
A simpler time, when doughnuts reigned.
My “Favorite” Exercises
- Putting on a sports bra on a wet body
- Taking off said sports bra after “arm” day
- Wiping the face of three year old
- OMG we over-slept, let’s make it to the school bus sprints (the adrenaline has to count for extra calories here.)
- Typing, and then rapidly deleting and re-typing that snarky comment that you can’t send (but kind of want to.) Is rage typing a thing?
- Reloading the dishwasher after someone loaded it WRONG
- Competitive sock hunting
- Speed reading a REALLY good book, flipping pages FAST! What if its a really thick book? Weights?
- In a related vein, speed crocheting (yes, I am an 80 year old woman at times)
- Â Carrying all the groceries in one trip. Laziness for the win.
- Hot laps around Target (may be canceled out by the GINORMOUS latte purchased at Starbucks in the front.)
Am I missing any? I will start to petition MyFitness Pal to include these in their activity offerings. I will keep you posted on my progress. Ridiculous petitioning… that has to be worth at least 30 calories, right?
So, it appears, it is time to dust off the old blog again. This year, has been a wild one and it is only going to get wilder. It was in this year that I turned forty. In this year I celebrated my eleventh wedding anniversary. And it was this year that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Obviously, some parts of this year have been better than others.
So, the short version of what has been a really long story. I was diagnosed with stage one cancer in early June. After the diagnosis my life became a whirlwind of doctors appointments, initial consultations and second opinions. It also became a time of a lot of self reflection and more than a little self doubt. It became a time to withdraw inward, and figure out next steps.
At Least I Like Pink
I also have an AMAZING stylist. Who chopped my hair and dyed it pink… in honor of breast cancer month.
Lucky for me, the cancer was caught early and my prognosis was (is) good. Despite the early diagnosis, I made the decision to undergo a double mastectomy. The surgery itself went well, and my margins came back clear. (The cancer did not spread to my lymph nodes.) Post surgery, my test results indicated a really aggressive cancer; one that would require chemotherapy to ensure that it was truly gone and not coming back.
What can I say about this so far? It sucks? Yeah, it kind of sucks. I mean, the two things that I have always been okay with in terms of body image were my hair and my boobs. It’s not that they helped to define me as a woman, but from time to time they made me feel more womanly. And so, as luck would have it… both were going to be gone.
So I wallowed, for a little bit. I wallowed and wailed in a sea of misery until I got all pruny. And then it was time to stop. It was time to put on the big girl panties (pink in honor of breast cancer month) and remember all that I had, rather than what I was losing.
The Bright Side
Let’s face it, I have an awesome support system. I have fantastic friends who I know will stick with me through thick and thin. I have a job that will support me 100% (and has been amazing as I schedule surgeries, and doctors appointments… and more surgeries.) I can work anywhere there is WiFi, and the hospital’s WiFi flies.
I get a brand new set of boobs, PERKY ONES! I live in a city that is chock full of FANTASTIC doctors, and I have the insurance to help me through this. I have a family that loves me and will help me the moment I ask, and sometimes even when I don’t ask. And I have an unbelievable partner who has wept with me, and held me. Who has shown me in every way possible that he will be by my side through everything, for better or worse, in sickness and in health… and that is more than some people get in lifetime.
So, dear readers, if you want to follow me on this journey while I do my best to kick cancer’s ass? Well, please do! I would love to have you along for the ride. Just remember, on Wednesdays we wear pink.
a life just ordinary 