a life just ordinary

 

1. My one year old son can fit three cheerios in his nose. This irks my OCD to no end since he has two nostrils like most human beings and therefore one nostril must be uneven. I thought about shoving another one in just to see, but I decided that may make me a bad parent. I tried to take one out, but the other two followed. So now I just have to live with the fact that from time to time my son will have three cheerios in his nose. I did not learn why he feels compelled to store his cheerios there. 

 

2. Not all little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice all the time. Sometimes they are just spicy, like little teenagers. At the age of six. That’s right, I said six. A six year old who thinks that her room is hers and not subject to parental oversight. A girl who believes that I am but a large purse meant to hold her cell phone (really my cell phone but she gets more calls on it than I do) her accessories and her chapstick. And she has mastered the eye-roll. I am in deep trouble when she hits 13. 

 

3. My dog has opposable thumbs. He must have since he has been breaking into my neighbors houses on a regular basis. Also he is part demon. I think he is the half beagle half demon breed, the Latin classification would be canis lupis demonis. That is a story in and of itself. I will elaborate after I bribe the neighbors for their forgiveness. 

 

4. My neighbors can be bribed with cheesecake bites. Here is the recipe. 

 

Two tubes of crescent rolls. (the seamless kind is easier) 

2 packages of cream cheese (softened) 

1 3/4 cups of sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2 tsp cinnamon

 1 stick of butter (melted) 

 

Grease a 9×13 pan and line the bottom with one package of crescent rolls. In a mixer combine the cream cheese, one cup of sugar and vanilla until smooth. Spread the mixture in the pan and then smooth the other package of crescent rolls on top. Mix the butter, cinnamon and remaining 3/4 cup sugar together and spread on top of the whole thing. Bake in a 350 degree oven for thirty minutes. Once it is cool stick it in the fridge, it is WAY better chilled. 

 

Note that I did not include any drugs in the recipe but something in the baking process will make anyone who tries this immediately addicted. They may start beating on your door late at night just trying to get a quick fix. You can use this to your advantage if your demon dog has been particularly adventurous and your neighbors are carrying pitchforks and torches. Usually one pan is enough to hold them over while you make your escape to a new neighborhood. 

 

5. We are moving. This has nothing to do with the demon dog. Well mostly nothing. It has more to do with the massive amount of crap we have accumulated over the past 5 years. We no longer fit in our house. I figured it was easier to move than it is to try to really clean up after my kids. 

 

6. I am 2 months away from graduating college with my Bachelors AND my Masters degrees. I am supposed to be writing my final project so I can get my diploma. So far I have managed to pack 5 boxes of the random stuff I keep stepping on in my daughters room, bake 4 batches of cheesecake bites and watch 3 Criminal Minds marathons. 

 

My house is a mess, I have gained 3 pounds. my dog is a demon, my kids are a little nuts, I am almost done with school and serial killers may or may not be hiding in my closets.

 

That is what I have been up to . How are you?